Life Lessons

Sometimes I honestly wonder why people do the things that they do. The last two years of my life I can honestly say are the two years that I have learnt the most about life. Although I am technically young in the eyes of the people around me, I have learnt that age is only a number. A number that cannot determine the maturity of any one individual. I am only 19 turning 20, but the experiences that I have had in my life have lead me to a full time 9-5 job and I am renting a house with my boyfriend of two years. A lot of things have lead me to this point in my life, not all rosy but each and every moment I cannot regret because I would not be the person I am, in the position I am, Living this amazing life, meeting some of the most amazing people. I will however recommend that anyone looking to move in with a friend should really think twice.... I can’t say that I did, because I moved in with a friend after only really knowing them for one year and that is not enough time. You really do get to know a person inside out once you live with them. Unfortunately due to arguments about money we are currently not speaking, but you can’t please everyone. This whole arrangement of living with my friend affected my life in more ways than I am pleased about, but it has lead me to appreciate the little things... and I have also realised that due to me being so unhappy in that environment, I let it affect who I was as a person and the way I was living my life. Now that I am out of that situation completely, there are parts of my life that I really want to get back and build on. One of the main things is doing things for me and just me. I neglected the things I used to do that truly made me happy and I started to lose myself in this whirlwind of negativity. It took a hold on me because I neglected the things that I was most passionate about and I wasn’t making time for me to just have fun and live my life. I used to just work, come home, watch TV, eat and sleep for probably a full year before I realised if I don’t start making changes this is going to be my life. But here we are I’m completely independent, I know who my true friends are and although bad things happen, I know I’m strong enough to be ok in the end, because I have some of the most amazing people right behind me supporting me and every decision I make. The most important thing in life is your family, the people you love and the people who bring out the best side of yourself. I just can’t express how grateful I am for those people because without them I honestly think I would be leading a very different lifestyle. I’m so much more confident in myself, who I am and who I want to be, that I can’t say I regret any of my decisions even the bad ones, because I would probably be the same timid, pushover that I was in high school thinking that pleasing everyone was the most important thing. It really isn’t, being happy and living your life the way you want to is definitely the way to approach things, because you only get one shot at life and I want more than just the ordinary life that everyone strives for, I want to look back one day when I’m old and just smile because of the amazing memories I made through taking opportunities to have amazing experiences.

Moving Again?!

Yes I am terrible at blogging, yes it has been way too long(AGAIN). Yes I always say I'm going to get better but there we go life just throws you curve balls and you just have to go with it. so for a quick summary/catch up, I've changed my hair colour to brown, platinum and then brown and now a lighter brown... I've been in a relationship for a year and a half... I own a cat, who is the cutest little thing... I no longer have a car... I have a new job (not that new I've had the job since may.. so like 5 months)... its mid/ end of October and I have not touched Christmas shopping... I'm also saving to move out AGAIN!! This time with my Boyfriend/Partner and the cat :) I've said before that a year can bring so much change and it definitely does every year... I'm just looking forward to starting a new chapter in my life and getting back on track with where I want to be... To be more focused on being a happy positive person :).

Catch up...

So its been that long since I've posted here that its a different year... Although in my defence I have been very busy. Now that I've moved out of my parents home and im trying to make my way in this world independently its made me look back and really appreciate my parents and how much they have done for me over the years... However the biggest shock for me was money. This world revolves purely around money... with rent/gas/electric/water/council tax, buying food running a car it all adds up and considering my wage is only 5.14 I'm barely doing it.. each month is a struggle for money and I've reached a whole new level of stressed that I didnt know existed. But. I wouldn't change it for the world. Moving out has made me grow up take on bigger responsibilities and has taught me to really appreciate my parents and what I do have. Aside from paying all these bills working between 30-50 hours a week I havent really had time to do all of the things I used to like going to town, taking spontaneous trips camping or going on road trips. These are the tings that I miss... But I now appreciate my free time so much more. I'm setting myself a new years resolution (bit late) but I'm going to try to take time out for myself to don the things that I used to love like writing, drawing, photography making videos... only in the last few months since I've started working full time have I realised how quickly time is passing by without me really doing anything or achieving anything and I plan to take each moment as it comes and do the best I can with it.

Moving Out?!

I know right! Exciting stuff. I have lived with my parents all of my life, I'm currently 17 and in the last months I have been offered a place on a flat starting September of this year! I couldn't pass this up, I will be 18 a few months before I move out. Originally the plan was for me and two of my best girlie friends were going to get a flat, but last minute changes which are inevitable happened OF COURSE! Nothing ever goes as you plan it these days. BUT that is besides the point, I went to view the three bedroom flat today and tomorrow I shall go to view the 2 bedroom flat above it because unfortunately one girl has had to drop out because of financial complications. I knew I'd be moving out some day but I never thought that it would be this soon! In all honesty I feel ready, but I am so nervous to be self sufficient. It will be a good test, to see how well I can tame myself in the spending area. so I'm guessing that'll be my main concern for the next year or so (SO BLOODY EXCITED) In a way I am extremely lucky with the deal that is on offer, because where I live a deal that good is basically unheard of. The main reasons for me moving out are not to get away from my home or my parents, I love them and I love my home, but I want them to have their lives back, my sister will be moving out, and they've spent the last 20 years being parents to both me and my sister so I think they have earned it. Plus I'd also like to give them their freedom back. consequently I will be gaining a new level of freedom and responsibility, but Its something im welcoming with open arms. Some people think I'm being completely reckless and naive. But This topic had been discussed over and over, and I can afford it, I have thought of everything I possibly can, speaking to both my parents my friends parents and some of my mature friends who are living independently and I believe that This could work out! What makes it even better is I'll be above a bar, ten minutes from home, close to work and town... and pretty much everything I could want. I will admit it does seem somewhat too good to be true, but this flat isn't going to be swanky or expensive, literally just the bare essentials but that suits me just fine, as long as im clean fed and not cold I don't care :)

I Failed My Driving Test

I know how annoying! Thing is I thought I'd passed, but when we got back to the test centre it became apparent that, that was not the case. I had been so nervous the day before that I had surprised myself at how calm I was in comparison. I was still nervous and shakey, but no where near as bas as the day before. It was a good day for driving, good road conditions middle of the day so no rush hour hectic maniacs. I felt cool and collected although my leg was shakey throughout the test it didn't effect my driving. Yet I still failed. I was SOO gutted about this, honestly I thought I'd passed so it hit me literally like a tone of bricks. But can always win, so tomorrow im booking my test again. I guess it all comes down to luck rather than your actual driving. you have to consider the road conditions, your instructor and what mood there in, the route they take you on and how long your out for ( in my case it was due to inadequate sign posting, thats the only thing I cant put my fail down to) But hey there we go :P

Technology Problems

As you can see I have changed the banner thing at the top of my blog. It was supposed to have links and everything in it, I had made a linked banner I still have the HTML code for the linked banner I just need to find a way to upload it because it is over the 500 character limit :( Such a shame It would have been nice to have worked. NEVER MIND! I am trying to get it sorted and working but how long that will take me is still unknown!

University Interviews

Today I had my very first interview for a university place. This interview was for Plymouth University. I live in Cardiff so I had to travel, apparently the most cost effective way to travel was via train, turns out if either of my parents had wanted to, driving me there was significantly cheaper SO I had to go by train on my own. I have never travelled on my own this far away from home, yes I have travelled to Italy on a coach without my family, but it was on a school trip. This was an entirely different experience for me, a scary experience to say the least. It had never occurred to me that when travelling by train, the trains are labelled with the terminal stop rather than the individual stops. Unfortunately I only realised this once I was on the platform, confused as to why the due train was for Portsmouth. I left the platform thinking I had to wrong one, panicked because I needed to get the correct train at this time or otherwise I would be late for my interview. It wouldn’t make the best first impression, if I was late by hours. I frantically found someone who worked at the station to explain my predicament only to find that it was indeed the correct train and I had nearly missed it. I rushed back to the platform to find the train was delayed, ten minutes later it was cancelled and all passengers were transferred to a replacement train because there was NO DRIVER?! Not that I wasn’t freaking out enough, I now had to make a train change with a straight fare ticket. Thankfully for me when I was changing trains the attendants were more than helpful and the ticket man didn’t seem to check my ticket at all. The journey from Bristol to Plymouth is beautiful; I wish I had taken pictures as we were going past the coast because it was literally picture perfect. I would take the pictures now because I’m on the train home, but its winter and its dark now. NOT GOOD! I occupied the long journey watching the movie GARFIELD! It never gets old. I was in the quiet section of the train at the time so I had my headphones plugged in. I did have to refrain from laughing at various points in the film because the carriage was filled with business personnel and opposite me was a very middle class pregnant woman. I didn’t want to annoy anyone, but I think I did. NEVERMIND! (I THINK IM ON THE WRONG TRAIN! That would be horrific. I thought that all the way to Plymouth as well, hopefully I am. On the right train that is) ANYWAY! I somehow got to Plymouth an hour before schedule, its unknown to me how that actually happened, but it did. YAY FOR GOOD LUCK! I ventured out of the train station and got into a taxi on route to the Art College. Opposite the College is a shopping centre so I went in and treated myself to a hot chocolate. This was SO nice because it was bitter cold outside and I am not the biggest fan of cold weather. I left with plenty of time to return to the College for my interview. I checked myself in and took a seat with around 30 other young people awaiting their interviews. I however was one of the only people without company from either a friend or adult/guardian. AWKWARD! I felt like a complete loner. Eventually the candidates for Graphic Design were called and we went into the department for Graphics. By this point my nerves were nearing getting the better of me. My interview was scheduled for 2PM. It was 2PM, so I assumed I was going for my interview right there right then. But NOOOOOOO everyone was taken on a tour of the facilities by a current student called Ben. Ben was a very excitable individual and temporarily calmed my nerves due to him being utterly amusing. However this was short lived. Before I knew it I was sitting in tense silence as all of the candidates were awaiting their interviews. The candidates for illustration were priority students (apparently). When they finally started interviewing the Graphics candidates they proceeded in order of who had to travel the furthest to get home. That right there meant I didn’t have to wait long. Walking into the interview room was a very surreal experience. I felt like I had committed an unspeakable crime and I was about to get interrogated in the harshest way. Just a bit of an overreaction on my part. I was interviewed by two males, only slightly intimidating. They had already looked through my portfolio and they were concerned about it. CONCERNED?! Brilliant. My art teachers in my current place of education suggested to me what to bring, I thought I’d be fine if that’s what they said I needed. Clearly not. Another thing that didn’t help was a few days prior to this interview I had to hand in my work for this year for marking, so I didn’t have that with me either. This whole fiasco threw me, right at the start of the interview. What the hell was I going to do now? They started expressing their concerns about how “limited” my work is, For me this was heart breaking. My only interest for the future is an art based career because it is the only thing I have been successful at during my educational career. I expressed my intention to complete a foundation art course prior to taking the degree course because I am entered for September 2013. WELL this changed the entire tone of the interview. They thought I was applying for this September! I don’t understand how they thought this because all of this information I gave to them via UCAS when applying in the first place. But there we go, can’t rely on anyone these days, especially with important things ironically. They said they would contact me within the next week or fortnight with an offer, so hopefully this entire disaster of a day was worth it and I get an offer. Getting into university in the current climate is an extremely tense time for students because the amount of pressure put on them to succeed, not only well but exceptionally well does not help. I can say that to you now, it was one of my most stressful days in my life to date and it was only the first interview. I don’t really have a contingency plan if this whole idea of university falls through, but that is something I will have to deal with when it comes to it. That is something I do not want to even comprehend especially not for the next few months at least. And then the most nerve racking thing is giving the full report to the parents when I get home when all I want to do is go straight to bed. I had work last night until 11PM, consequently I had around five hours sleep and I have college first thing tomorrow morning. Oh the joys of life!